Monday, November 12, 2012

Back on the Roller Coaster (or, another change of plans)

Things have been really uncertain this pregnancy. Since we found out about the placenta previa at 20 weeks we've been facing the unknown. It's been a waiting game. Everything has been, "we'll just have to wait and see what happens."
Me and my little dragon...37 weeks yesterday!
Until 36.5 weeks we had no idea where we would be having our baby or whether or not we would be able to have a vaginal birth or if we would need a cesarean birth.  

Last Wednesday we found out the placenta had cleared my cervix and I was approved to move forward with plans of a homebirth with our midwife if I didn't have any unusual bleeding prior to the onset of labor (I think I left that detail out of the last post). It seemed really unlikely I would have bleeding since I hadn't had any throughout the pregnancy. Everyone thought there was a good chance I would go to at least 40 weeks which would give the placenta even more time to move. Everything seemed really great.

For once we had a plan and a clear way forward.

We spent two days letting the good news sink in. We met with our midwife, scheduled our home visit, and settled in to relax and enjoy the last few weeks of the pregnancy.

And then everything changed. Again.

Early Saturday morning I woke up thinking my water must have broken. When I turned on the light I realized I was bleeding. (I realize that sounds alarming--don't worry, the baby and I are okay). We met our midwife and the doctor at the hospital and spent most of Saturday being monitored. My vital signs and Baby E's were strong all throughout. We're both very healthy. The bleeding stopped and I was not in labor so our doctor felt comfortable sending us home late Saturday afternoon.

A home birth is no longer an option. We'll be delivering in the hospital whether we're able to have a vaginal birth or whether we end up having a cesarean birth. I'm feeling at peace with that right now. I guess because things have been so uncertain up to this point I've known all along that we just have to go with the flow and not be attached to any one plan.

We met with the doctor again this morning and have decided that for the time being the best plan is to just wait and see what happens. Yes, we're right back where we started! I won't get into all the details of how we reached that conclusion. I'm confident it's the best decision for us right now.

We're hoping I'll go into labor on my own sometime soon without any more bleeding. If I do start bleeding again (whether labor has started or not) we'll head to the hospital and go from there. We understand that everything could change at any moment.

I'm hoping the tone of this post doesn't come across as sad or disappointed or resigned. I'm actually feeling fairly relaxed at this point. I'm glad to finally know where we'll be having our baby. I'm glad we were able to come home Saturday and pack our bags and feel a little more ready for anything. I'm glad I'll have some time to prepare myself emotionally for a hospital birth. I'm thankful we have a very experienced doctor we can trust completely. I'm thankful the possibility of a vaginal birth is not completely out of the question. I'm glad our midwife will be with us as well, regardless of what happens. I'm thankful for our wonderful friends and family who haven't hesitated to offer help and support.

We have a lot to be thankful for right now.

(All that said, I may or may not be taking a break from blogging for a while. I'm just going to see how  I feel and see how things go...) 

And that's enough personal stuff for now. Perhaps the next post will be a lighthearted toddler activity.

: )

Cheers,
Emily

This post was shared with the Tuesday Baby Link-Up.

2 comments:

  1. Wow! I am SOOO glad you and baby are okay! *hugs* I am confident that you will still have an amazing birth---and I'm so glad your midwife can be there with you no matter what! I'll be praying for you!

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  2. What a wild roller coaster you have been on! I've been following your posts, and I'm praying that even in the hospital you're able to have the birth experience that you're hoping for. Thanks for linking up with the Tuesday Baby Link up. If you're still around blog land, I hope you'll link up again with us tomorrow!

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