Following My Instincts and Going for a Walk

Before I knew I was pregnant with my first child I knew I wanted to give birth without drugs or interventions. I never questioned that it was best for my baby and myself. When my husband and I agreed to a Cesarean birth for our second daughter, that was also instinct. Our instinct as parents was to do whatever was necessary to keep our daughter and myself safe and healthy.

Parental instincts are strong. When we face challenges, instincts kick in.

This post was initially going to be about babywearing. Babywearing was an instinct thing for me. When I was pregnant the first time I just assumed we would wear our baby. I wouldn't have been able to list the benefits at the time, but I knew it was necessary. When my first daughter was born we lived on a sailboat. Putting her in a carrier every time we left the boat was the safest way to get her off the boat and onto shore. We needed to have our hands free on the dock. Once we were on shore we didn't put her down because she was warm and happy being carried.

Having my baby close to me makes me feel like a good mom. It feels like how things are meant to be. If I'm struggling to get stuff done or the kids are cranky, all I have to do is pick them up and everything is better. Tiny baby or gangly toddler, it makes them both happy. Without fail. It's instinct. My baby cries, I pick them up. (Or I just don't put them down in the first place).

However, a few nights ago it occurred to me that sometimes parental instinct is more subtle, a little less tangible.

{this moment} muddy garden

A Friday ritual. A single photo, without words capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, wonderful moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. -via soulemama

{this moment} painted feet

A Friday ritual. A single photo, without words capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, wonderful moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. -via soulemama (although for very sad reasons she's not doing a {this moment} this week. I already had mine ready and went ahead with it since my moment was part of some wonderful time spent with my family).

What Happened When I Simplified Our Lives (Or, I got sick of cleaning up and decided to get rid of stuff instead)

I've been attempting to de-clutter our house for the last couple of years. Seriously. It hasn't been working. I'd get one little spot cleaned up and then another room would be cluttered and disorganized. I'd get rid of one toy and three more would take it's place. It was frustrating.

Recently I realized I'm dealing with post-partum depression and anxiety again. I won't get into all that too much right now but, after reading a bit over at Honest Mom, I know I will write about it at some point. Suffice it to say, I had some really, really dark days. About a month ago I finally figured out what was going on and I got some help. I'm feeling a lot better (although there are still ups and downs) but I'm taking it one day at a time.

All that to say, feeling overwhelmed at home hasn't helped me deal with the depression and anxiety. I decided I needed to eliminate as many things that were overwhelming me as possible. Going places was stressing me out so I canceled all our plans for a week. The constant battle with clutter was overwhelming so I decided to eliminate the clutter. We have so much stuff that is not used--so many toys that were getting dumped on the floor every day...

{this moment} staying in the picture

A Friday ritual. A single photo, without words capturing a moment from the week (and this week is an obvious reference to this fabulous article from last fall). 

A simple, special, wonderful moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. -via soulemama.

Foggy Morning Walk (and other happy thoughts)

I've rewritten the first sentence of this post at least five times now.

I've been dealing with some more-severe-than-usual anxiety lately. So, instead of writing about that I'm going to focus on the happy things that have happened the last few days--I'm savoring the good moments.

Yesterday we took an early morning family walk. It was warm and sunny and foggy. We had a lovely time. We found a place in the park where all the plants were covered with webs.

{this moment} mini me

A Friday ritual. A single photo, without words capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, wonderful moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. -via soulemama.

What I'm Not Writing About.

Life is always busy. My goal is always to slow down. I've realized to actually do that I need to not schedule activities. The last few weeks as we've gone from one place to another I've been thinking about all the topics I'd like to write about. Then when I have a few minutes to myself I rarely want to sit down and write.

We've been enjoying the sunshine...

If you've read this blog for a while you're probably thinking, "hmmm, I think she's written that before." I'm sure I have. I'm in a slump. 

Right now there is a squealing, slightly snotty baby laying next to me on the bed, playing with her feet.

It's hard to concentrate on writing.

Now we're playing peek-a-boo with the sheets.  

So, for now, I'm going to try to post just twice a week. I'll write on Tuesdays and post a picture on Fridays. Like I said, that's my goal right for now. It's entirely possible that will change. But I need to write. It keeps me grounded but it's too easy to set unrealistic goals for myself and then feel stressed about all the posts I'm not writing. 

Perhaps at some point all the topics that have been rolling around in my head (tandem nursing, my challenges with my eldest daughter, current events, planting our garden, my hatred of cleaning floors, homeschooling, post-partum depression, whether or not to send L to preschool, trying to find time for myself, regaining my identity apart from my family, etc., etc.) may or may not get written about...but I'm not going to stress about it. 

I'm moving forward from here. The slump will end soon : )